The (drum roll please) winners are:
Eric Green, Cape Town, South Africa
Greg Drasher, Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Russell Elliott, Australia
Ivo Koudela, Czech Republic
Tan Hong Yee, Singapore
Dean Cook, Oregon, USA
Honorable Mentions Go To:
Paul Burkhardt (263 words, one sentence)
Lisa Chernela (with apologies to Mary Chapin Carpenter)
Bob Divis (with apologies to his wife and kids)
Len Trigg (ROFLMAO)
Nigel Hurneyman