The VFT Defeated!!!

From: Paul V. McCullough (pvmcull@voicenet.com)
Date: Fri Jun 19 1998 - 21:55:16 PDT


Date: Sat, 20 Jun 1998 00:55:16 -0400
From: "Paul V. McCullough" <pvmcull@voicenet.com>
To: cp@opus.hpl.hp.com
Message-Id: <aabcdefg2114$foo@default>
Subject: The VFT Defeated!!!

Say it isn't so! Today, while perusing our outside dull (read: non-CP)
gardens and admiring the yellow lillies a-bloomin', I happened on a
nasty looking little beetle bug (about 1/2" long, gray, ugly) hiding
amongst the flowers. Ok, maybe it ain't a plant predator- I'm not sure
what this guy eats- but it was too ugly to be in my wife's gorgeous
front garden... and I have a VFT that's just salivating for some real
food!

This particular plant has traps 1.5" long- easily big enough to handle
this ugly bug... and so, armed with a pair of tweezers (because I
believe all bugs no matter how harmless... aren't!) and my ever trusty
dixie cup (A deluxe 2" with blue floral patterns and waxy sides to do
shame to most sarracenias) I warily approached and nabbed the little
insecto-rodent! Too easily caught, this beast was obviously napping (it
was late afternoon)- I quickly deposited him into the dixie and made a
mad rush for the Klimagro (Which is now perched next to the very
computer from which I type this note) upstairs to my office. A quick
glance into the cup showed a beetle laying on his back in complete
disarray- I began to feel sorry for him... afterall, he couldn't even
get right side up! How would he ever cope with a VFT- the champion of
reflexes... this was all going to be very easy!

I quickly employed my tweezers once more and dropped him into the
biggest, reddest trap... and he stayed immobile for a second. Did he
know the danger he was in? As he decided to right himself- the trap
snapped (And I mean SNAPPED- I felt the wind and heard the pop and
everything!) shut on the hapless little monster. I smiled... my champ
VFT had prevailed once more, and now it would be rewarded. I was just
about to turn away when to my sudden horror- the entire trap buckled-
the interlocked teeth parting at one end! Next thing I knew, the
beetle's head had emerged! I held my breath as he pulled back into the
trap- then (WHAM!) he was through the teeth! I couldn't believe it- he
actually backed into the trap for a running leap! It worked.

At this point I decided, this guy deserves to live, he really fought for
it. I was going to pack him up, drive him 40 miles out of town, and
release him to start a new life. Once again I employed my tweezers to
retrieve him from the sphagnum- but he was on a mission now- stepping
through a smaller trap, and setting it off (and getting away), he
grabbed onto the next trap's petiole, and dug in. When I grabbed him
with the tweezers, he was biting the leaf! The little monster IS a
plant eater! Seeing him chomping on my prize VFT made me mad again.

My new sarracenia purpurea from Home Depot had already sent up a pitcher
about five inches long and slightly red veined... I've been waiting to
find a nice big bug for it- a bee or wasp... but I had another idea
now. I took the beetle and placed him on the pitcher's collar and
waited. Thinking he'd found a safe haven, he dived on in.

My champ VFT is licking it's wounds and his trap is already reopening.
Better hunting tomorrow.

Cheers,
Paul

PS- the above incident is true... unless you're a member in good
standing of the American Beetle Association... in that case, it was a
piece of hamburger that got away. If you're a Beatle fan... you're
confused.

-- 
Paul V. McCullough
Webpage: http://www.voicenet.com/~pvmcull



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