A CP Recipe!

From: Paul V. McCullough (pvmcull@voicenet.com)
Date: Fri Aug 29 1997 - 16:25:17 PDT


Date: Fri, 29 Aug 1997 19:25:17 -0400
From: "Paul V. McCullough" <pvmcull@voicenet.com>
To: cp@opus.hpl.hp.com
Message-Id: <aabcdefg3299$foo@default>
Subject: A CP Recipe!

All of this talk of steeping CP in baking soda has gotten me thinking
(always a dangerous thing...); what other baking materials or food
stuffs would prove beneficial to CP? Here's what I'm currently testing:

    "VFT ala mode!"
        1) Take one five year old VFT "bulb" (not really a bulb) out of
it's planting medium.
        2) Place bulb in one quart of Breyers or Turkey Hill vanilla ice
cream.
        3) Pour hot fudge and/or butterscotch syrup over entire plant.
        4) Add red grenadine to traps.
        5) Sit in window sill with bright sunlight. (open window will
provide a bonanza of bugs)

    Success rate so far: None. Neighbor's cat ate the whole thing.
-------------------------

    "Sundews in Parsley!"
        1) Sprinkle parsley over drosera traps.
        2) Put in oven at 350F for five minutes.
        3) Serve as garnish.
        4) This should not be done with Byblis! (They aren't drosera)

    Success rate so far: None. Pretty garnish, though.
-------------------------

    "Bread Battered Sarracenia!"
        1) Leave your pitcher plants in their pots...
        2) Fill each pitcher with cake flour (plain flour if your local
grocery doesn't have it).
        3) Add yeast (whole packet to each pitcher) and two spoons of
sugar.
        4) Use a straw to mix ingredients; add water if it's a dry
month.
        4) Wait two days, then pull fully baked scone out of each
pitcher. Serve with tea.

    Success rate so far: Great! Impressively large pitchers! Give
Pillsbury a run for their money!
-------------------------

    "Buttered Heliamphora"
        1) Using a standard bread knife, spread several dollops of
butter over each pitcher.
        2) Sprinkle with cinnamon and ginger.
        3) Microwave on HIGH for two minutes in microwavable cookware.
(Pot and all)

    Success rate so far: So-so... remember that micro waving metal is
EXTREMELY dangerous. For extra fun, throw one of those marshmallow
chickies (you know, the "Peeps" that come out around Easter that you
bite the heads off of...) into the microwave, too!
-------------------------

    On a different tack, assuming that CP like to grow in acid soil
that's been contaminated by basic baking soda, let's assume that even
higher base products would do a better job, right?!? I'm going to try
Ajax (with blue dots) on Darlingtonia, Formula 409 (and with a name like
that, it's got to be good, don't you think?) on Cephalotus, and Tide
(Not Woolite, though!) on some of my struggling Mutt Pings! Back to the
Good Housekeeping Labs, I go!

Cheers,
Paul

PS- for those who don't realize, all of the above was pure satire. I'll
pray for your complete and total recovery.

--
Paul V. McCullough
"3D Animation World" http://www.voicenet.com/~pvmcull
"CP Page" http://www.voicenet.com/~pvmcull/pics/cp/carniv.htm



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